Tag Archives: toss

Guy-necologist or Gal-necologist?


I remember when I was an over-sexed womanizer in the Marines, always looking for the next skirt to chase!  One night, me and my pack of wolves went out to party in Wilmington, N.C.  We were stationed in the barracks dormitories at Marine Corps Air Station New River (right across the water from Camp Lejeune!).  Taking Hwy. 17, it would take us about 45 minutes to an hour, depending on how many state troopers we saw along the way.  We would do this trip almost every weekend!

I recall one conversation I had with them during one of these trips, me driving while all of us were crammed into my little, red Chevette:

“Man!  You know what job would be my dream job!”

They shook their heads.


They giggled, but one of them reminded me:  “Yea…it seems like the dream job, now.”

I looked in my rear-view mirror at him and continued listening to what he was saying.

“…but wait until one of them comes in there with a rotten crotch!”

We all started laughing at that, but I retorted:

“That’s okay…I’ll clean and spit-shine it.”  I grinned at him through the rear-view mirror.  “When I’m done, it’ll be as good as a brand-new Buick!”

We all cracked up so hard, I almost ran off the road!

Do I still think it would be the dream job?

Not only no…but hell no!

First of all, since then, I’ve had to change dirty diapers…and I about gagged every time!  I’m not saying that I would expect some women’s coochies to smell like that…but it wouldn’t surprise me if some did!

Secondly, we live in a very legalized society where people want to sue people for any possible reason including made-up ones.  Who’s to say that Sally Rottencrotch wouldn’t go in to an appointment with Dr. Frankenstein, and end up saying that he did weird experiments on her fruit-of-the-womb?  He could be the best dang gynecologist in the nation, and she the worst scum of the earth in said nation!

I was just informed by a woman I work with that when a guy-necologist is doing a pelvic exam, pap-smear, a wash, a rinse, or a wax, he has to have a female from the medical staff present.  That sounds good, on the surface.  But we live in times where lesbians are included in everyday encounters to include doctor offices.  Heck, how do we know that both the doctor and nurse are not doing a coin toss in there or some other bizarre activity?

The purpose of my article is not to make women and their family members worry about their OB-GYN doctors…but I feel it does seem worthy of bearing in mind.

On the same token, we men have to be worried similarly about who does our prostate examinations.  Does he have small hands?  Or does he have ham hocks?  What if he has both hands on our shoulders while he is supposedly examining us?

It just goes to show you that no one is safe in today’s strange and modern world!