Tag Archives: married

It’s a Mad World!

Image

If you had told someone 30 years ago that we would be carrying wireless phones which boast the capability of taking pictures, allow paying bills, permit shopping, allow playing video games, act as a flashlight, allow you to read electronic books, allow listening to music, allow watching of videos, allow the receiving of electronic messages, and offer free long-distance, they would have looked at you crazy and asked you how much doobage you had been smoking!

Today’s technology, on the surface, looks like a wonderful, amazing, and wonderfully amazing thing!  But is it really that good for us?  After all, many people feel as though it makes us lazy and complacent.  Now people are able to shop online with their phones and personal computers.  That does save gasoline and wear and tear on your shoes.  But the downside is that you deprive yourself of healthy exercise.  And you also have to be patient and wait for your product to arrive and hope it arrives in top condition.  In some cases, you have to pay for that shipping.  So, sure!  It’s definitely convenient.  But is it really worth the cost of our health, overall condition of your new product, and the labor used to deliver it?  To some, perhaps.  But to others, definitely not!

Technology is not the only thing muddling up our now complicated lives.  United States tax laws are more unfair than ever before, allowing the rich to stay rich while keeping everyone else in the struggling classes.  Tax laws  are more complicated than Chinese arithmetic!  Our justice system is shot to hell and needs to be put down like a rabid animal.  Nowadays, we have the best justice system that money can buy.  You used to be able to retire at the age of 65.  But because people are living longer (lifespan now is 80-years old where it used to be 70), people are having to work longer.  Sometimes it makes me wonder if I really should be thankful for the advancements in medicine.

Things used to be so much simpler when the cost of living was not higher than people’s salaries.  One spouse used to be able to stay home and handle household duties and supervising the children until the other — the primary breadwinner — got home from work.  Now it takes dual income in order to live even the slightest bit comfortably.  And because parents today are not able to spend as much time with children, many children get involved with friends who aren’t the most savory to parents.  Thus they sometimes end up being criminals at a young age.

Do we really want our youth here in America to earn the criminal label before they become adults?  It doesn’t help that teachers are now so knee-deep in paperwork requirements that they barely have time to grade their papers, much less spending one-on-one time with each pupil or student.

Add to this the fact that most companies are under the gun in meeting financial goals that they now only care more about a person’s production than they do their livelihood.  Thus, many employees get unfairly fired and have to find ways to support their families.  It is no wonder that some of them end up robbing banks, snatching purses, and dealing drugs in order to feed their family.  I remember when you could work somewhere and the boss really showed how much he cared for his workers, and it was mostly genuine and not just a put-on.

Finally, debt has become an American staple in modern life.  Our government serves as the perfect example of inept spending quite possibly exceeding other countries in this area.  And most American adults are now in debt.  Many more nowadays are filing bankruptcy due to this spend what you don’t have American culture.  Credit card and loan companies get away with tempting people into situations in which they do not need to be.  And on top of this misdeed, they are allowed to charge exorbitant fees.

So technology — however good and impressive it is — still does not forgive the fact that life is now more complicated than it really needs to be.  Whatever happened to humanity and compassion in day-by-day society.  I truly believe it has gone extinct.

 

Men: How You Can Train Your Inner Dog!

Image

Most, if not all women, have heard the old saying:  All men are dogs!

But as men, we all know this is simply not true.  Because how can we be dogs when dogs are man’s best friend?

I propose that all men have an inner dog within him.  The dog comes out more and more as we go through puberty and beyond.  From there, it is up to us to eventually tame this dog lest it wrestle control from our general psyche, making us do and say foolish things that we may or may not live to regret.  Some men want to let the dog run free and hump the leg of every beautiful woman who crosses his path.  Others prefer to gradually introduce this inner dog to a woman of deep interest in hopes that she will eventually decide that she likes the dog.  In places like England, Ireland, Scotland, Australia, and New Zealand, many men freely allow and encourage their dogs to chase pussy from one end of the town to the other!  Some men have completely given up on training their inner dog after having tried.  Sadly enough, some men don’t even realize they have an inner dog.  And they never realize it until they do something totally regretful.  In my personal case, I was single and made a vow to God in prayer that I would never bed a married woman.  Never mind the fact that premarital sex is a sin in the Bible!  Well, one night, under the spell of Red Dog and the enchantment of a woman who I’d kissed before noticing a wedding ring on her finger, I broke that vow.

Many men out there know just what I am talking about.  Maybe some of them have made complete asses of themselves before they realized that there was this little obnoxious and annoying puppy in their inner being.  Eventually, a puppy becomes a dog.  And the dog eventually may reign supreme…or so it seems.

I’m here to tell you:  You can teach an old dog new tricks!

In the Marine Corps, I used to be one of the most hopeless womanizers.  I should have been in school, getting a bachelor degree at the base educational facility.  But I was in the bars instead, carousing and chasing the fairer sex.  Eventually, I met my ex-wife and my current wife.  And, sure!  I had a period of wildness between my divorce and my second marriage.  To me, it was a good time to let my dog off its leash.

Anyone who knew me when I was single would probably have never guessed that I would be one of the most faithful men a woman could ever hope to marry.  And my ex-wife and wife both know that I am a truly honorable husband.

So how did I go from being the canine king to the faithful husband of the year?  I trained my inner dog.  And here is how you can too:

Single man dog training:

  • Don’t get involved with anyone with whom you work!  It may seem cool and exciting at first, but there is nothing cool about getting shit-canned because you dipped your pen in company ink.  Just try feeding your dog when you don’t have any money coming in!
  • Don’t mix business with pleasure.  Because the people with whom you work may be able to get dirt on you to use at a later date.
  • Always wear a condom during sexual encounters.  A pregnant woman either becomes your wife or rich on your tab.  Keep in mind that every father should make great efforts to support his children.  Getting married can also crimp your lifestyle if you are not ready for it.  In this case, your dog may not just roll over; he may just roll over and play dead!
  • Control your liquor intake, or it will control you.  Your dog may just go barking up the wrong tree!  I found this out when I was drinking under age in 1989.  A gorgeous babe was staring at me from the other side of the bar.  So I just walked up to her and started kissing her.  I thought things were going very well until I felt a tap on my shoulder.  Next thing you know, I turn and get sucker punched.  To add insult to injury, I was too drunk to defend myself.  If I had been more sober, maybe I would have realized this girl was at the bar with her boyfriend who ended up not taking too well to seeing us kissing.
  • When you are wasted, do not get behind the wheel of a vehicle.  You really should not even do it if you have had anything to drink.  But I got into the habit of tossing my keys into the air and seeing if I could catch them as I walked out to my car.  I never did have trouble catching them.  And I never did get pulled over and busted for having been drinking.

Married man dog training:

  • Never allow yourself to be alone with another woman other than your wife in enclosed quarters.  If you have to, be sure to leave a door open so that you may be able to have witnesses if the time ever comes for that.  A good witness comes in handy when your watch dog isn’t watching closely enough.
  • Never let your dog go where it doesn’t need to be.  Just as you would never let your dog run around in the streets, you need to watch where you maintain your company.  Married men have no business being in bars.  Some men think that wearing a wedding ring in a bar will keep women from hitting on them.  Actually it is quite the opposite.  Many women take great pride in luring men away from their marriages and in between their sheets.  Neither do they have any business being in their home with only another woman who is not their wife.  Likewise, they should not be in another dwelling alone with another woman who is not their wife.
  • Don’t fall for society’s stimulating suggestiveness.  Women wearing next to nothing advertising whatever it is they are advertising is likely to make your dog drool.  Be strong!  Don’t let your dog go anywhere near such advertising, no matter how much it tempts you to stare.  Television shows now glorify cheating on your spouse.  Talk about a sure way to get your dog into the doghouse if not put down altogether!
  • Always remember that honor is a rare commodity in today’s world.  Who says a dog cannot be a gentleman?  There is a painting of a bunch of dogs playing cards together.  So I guess this artwork blows that theory to hell!

These are some of the ways that I have trained my inner dog (at least as far as the married tips; for I used to always let my dog run stray when I was single!).  So what about your inner dog?  Is it ready for a Scooby Snack?

Stupidity Is as Stupidity Does

It’s no wonder that Robin Thicke’s wife wants nothing more to do with him after this cheesy performance at the 2013 VMA Awards ceremony. In the pic above, it looks like he strangely enough impaled her all the way through the mouth!

I just read in an article on the “Us” website that Robin Thicke and Paula Patton are divorcing after eight years of marriage.  After seeing his sleazy performance with slut-muffin Miley Cyrus, it really is no wonder.

Whatever happened to the days when people had class and enough guts to do the right thing, even if it meant publicly embarrassing the hell out of someone who blatantly asked for it in the first place?

Way back in 1939, Errol Flynn — while on camera in the film The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex — had the balls to smack the extremely arrogant Bette Davis on her high-dollar ass so hard that it lifted her off the ground!  He had done it in retaliation for slapping him several times with a hand that was loaded down with costume jewelry.  The movie producers found the footage so hilarious, that they decided to keep it in the final cut of the film.  Hilariously enough, it concluded with the footage making it one of the most memorable parts of the movie as well as Hollywood film history!  You can read all about this in his autobiography, My Wicked, Wicked Ways.

Back to Robin Thicke, his wife, and the sleaze who — according to one source — was largely responsible for ending their marriage!  If Thicke truly valued his marriage, why did he continue letting the young harlot get twerky on his jerky?  He could have pulled an Errol Flynn and knee her in the ass making her stumble all over the place.  And if he really wanted to do it in a way that didn’t embarrass the trampy little wench, then he could have told her at rehearsal to “get off my stick!”  Maybe he wants to hook up with her himself.  Hell, for all we know, maybe he already did.

By the way, I don’t really care too much for Miley Cyrus.  I don’t really think too highly of Thicke after that notorious performance either.  And I wish Paula Patton all the best in removing herself from a very ugly and disgusting situation.