I’m personally no huge fan of Donald Trump, but a potential win at the polls could rid us of quite a few aggravating and annoying liberal celebrities. So I hate to admit that I am almost willing to go out and vote for him this November.
The only way I could be any happier of a confirmed Trump victory would be if all actors (except Samuel L. Jackson — because I am a HUGE Avengers fan!) would promise to never work in or benefit from our nation ever again.
So far, the list of celebrities and promised destinations is small, but seems to be getting bigger as November draws near. And Miley Cyrus recently made the news claiming she will jump on the bandwagon with these others in the likely event that a comb-over potentially graces U.S. currency. But this is not the first time I’ve ranted about the spoiled brat here on this blog.
Now, let’s discuss each celebrity individually.
Rosie O’Donnell to Canada: I’ve never been a huge fan of ROD. Nine times out of 10, when her lips are moving, it is a serious case of bird brain running motor mouth. In the pic above, she certainly looks ready for a move to the nearest Canadian / U.S. border detention camp! I bid you, au revoire!
Cher to Jupiter: I always thought Cher was kinda cool in a hippy sorta way…but she has obviously gotten caught with her hand in the ganja jar again, claiming that she will depart this nation for a relocation to outer space. But it’ll all be okay! Elvis will be there to keep her company!
Eddie Griffin to Africa: Now all we have to do is hope all the other cockroaches in the nation will follow him to Africa. The only bad thing about that would be the loss of exterminator jobs, which could potentially impact the economy.
Barry Diller to no particular destination: The only advice I can offer is “do not forget to pack your depends”! Because this old man is clearly full of shit. Cannot even specify a destination…yea, your heart is clearly behind THIS empty promise!
Samuel L. Jackson to South Africa: I will definitely miss this guy more than I miss Bob Ross. Though I think that Bob Ross would have had a bunch more gumption than to run away from some “shitty-ass problems” that are “motherfuckin’ birds now”. My advice to Sam J. is simple: “What would Col. Fury do?”
Jon Stewart to another planet: I have mixed feelings about Jon. The guy has an amazing sense of humor, but a totally misguided sense of direction. And he has CLEARLY been eating from Cher’s cookie jar. My advice: “The song was Lucy in the Skies with Diamonds, not Lucy in the Skies with Dumbsass…”
Omari Hardwick to Italy: Such a dapper-looking young man! Hell, I don’t know too much about him and am at a loss for words. My advice: “Good riddance. And have a canoli on me when you arrive in Italy!”
Katie Hopkins (British Columnist) to United States: Not sure that I understand this one, though the chart above says volumes! I can especially agree with the notation about the mouth since she has been caught making statements like: “I am the new Jesus.” Too bad John Lennon wasn’t around to steer her away from that one! I think I read somewhere that she is a Trump supporter, so she probably doesn’t belong on this list; though my predecessor included her on it for some strange reason. So in this case a bunch of turds may get out, but one may be getting in.
Miley Cyrus to nowhere in particular (unless they have plenty of inflatible penis around!): We are all, no-doubt, certain that Billy Ray is very proud of his daughter and will miss her very much…NOT!
I’ve already expressed words of advice to many of these individuals on the topic of migrating away from the country that has been better to them than they perhaps deserve. In summary: