How to Get 250 Pounds of Shit into a 10-Pound Bag!

fat ass

Some people need to be really honest with themselves.

…really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY honest with themselves.

I have nothing against people being overweight.  After all, I am more than 50 pounds overweight myself.  I have sense enough to know that I cannot fit into the same clothes I used to fit into when I was 25 years younger, and a studly Marine at that!  The image I would convey in that clothing would be laughable at best…just like the picture I have posted above.

I shared this picture on my personal Facebook page (philsanderson1967 for those of you who wish to befriend me on Facebook); and some of the most hilarious comments started rolling in.  The purpose of this article is to share the humor.  And if you happen to be the poor, ignorant soul in the above picture, please forgive me for having a little fun at your expense.  But you kinda brought this one on yourself when you literally squeezed miraculously into those hootchy shorts.

I originally posted:   Oh! So THAT’S how to get 200 pounds of shit into a 10-pound bag.

My wife posted:  Omg! And I was about to eat breakfast! Barf!

I replied:  How can I maintain my composure as I helplessly shake that image of that poor example of poor fashion — tramp-stamp and all! — out of my poor noggin’?

My friend, Jason, stated:  That took a lot of butter to get those shorts on.

My friend, Mike, simply posted a pic that couldn’t have conveyed his feelings.

family guy

My friend and loyal reader, Pam, commented:  I would have had to called the police for indecent exposure. That is just nasty. Some people need mirrors that will tell them not no but hell no!

My friend, Robert, typed, “Ha” and posted the following picture:

moist

My friend, Sean, posted:  Dang…. one good fart and those shorts are gone!!!!!

As you can see, this post managed to gather some pretty interesting remarks from a bunch of Facebook friends who clearly were not impressed at all by the lack of fashion sense of our unknowing customer.  My wife also posted the same photo and got quite a bit more remarks, too many to actually list here.  Here are some of the funnier ones:

  1. And to think she’s ordering food.
  2. Those poor shorts.
  3. You mean, this doesn’t make you want a muffin?
  4. biscuits
  5. Walking behind her should warrant hazardous duty.
  6. It’s a commercial for the world’s strongest zipper!!!! Or button!!!

So if you are a person of questionable fashion capability, please keep all these comments in mind before you show more of your body than you REALLY need to.

Note:  No cotton was utterly destroyed during the writing of this article; though it most certainly wished it had never come into being!  

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