Rated NR for Nude Titty

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I never really knew the fascination between nudist camps and nude beaches.  I used to think that maybe it was all just perversion gone wild.  

According to Wikipedia, naturism is “a cultural and political movement practicing, advocating and defending social nudity, most of which takes place on private property. The term may also refer to a lifestyle based on personal, family and/or social nudism.”

If you break the term down to its most basic components, it obviously stems from the term: nature.  For example “au natural”.  Nature being as we once were before the fig leaf covered all our pink parts!

I used to think that the only people who would have enough guts to go to a nudist camp or a nude beach were those who were blessed with impressive physical endowments (e.g. “Did you see the shitter on that critter!”; “He’s more hung than Saddam Hussein!”; “Check out the rack on Raquel!”; etc.).  I used to believe that those who were less endowed willfully and stubbornly avoided such places (e.g. “If you happen to see Annie’s Ass, please let her know…she’s obviously lost it somewhere.”; “Dude, a flea packs more beef than Barry…”; “Judith is all nipple and no mound!”.  I used to think:  Why would such individuals go to such a place where their innermost privacy would be exposed like a Babe Ruth candy bar in a swimming pool.  

But when I was in the Marine Corps, a buddy told me:  “Let’s go to Blacks Beach.”  He then explained that it was a nude beach near San Diego.  I asked him:  “Now why would I want to go to a nude beach?”  He said:  “You like nude women, don’t you?”  I nodded.  “A little bit too much.  What am I supposed to do…walk up to one of them with my hand extended.  ‘Hey, there…I’m Phil.’  And then look down and tell her:  ‘Oh, don’t mind me.  I’m just glad to be here.'”  

So the whole idea of the nude beach was lost on me at that moment.  And I then realized that body type and characteristic details didn’t really play in too well as far as nude beaches were concerned.  I never have gone to a nude beach or nudist colony.  And I never will.  I would never be able to keep a straight face in such places, and my eyes would be wandering around more than Johnny Cash once did.

Perhaps another reason why I never liked nude beaches and nudist colonies was similar to my reasons for preferring regular night clubs over strip clubs.  When I was single, I preferred action over being teased.  At strip clubs — as is probably the case at nude beaches and nudist camps or colonies — you can look, but not touch.  What was the point in getting hot and bothered if you did not have an outlet to release your excitement?  At regular night clubs, you may not have been able to see under the clothes, but at least you may or may not get that option if you happened to strike up a good encounter with an attractive person.  And the outlet would soon enough be forthcoming.  

I’ve heard from others that the point of nude beaches, nude colonies, and nude camps is not necessarily to get laid.  For example, some people go to nude beaches for the simple fact they don’t like tan lines.  And some go to the other two places to be social.  But how do you strike up such a conversation in those places.  “Here, have a seat and join me. And we can talk about the first thing that pops up.”  Then, all of a sudden…BOING!  “So, please tell me:  What is your favorite summer sausage?”

I don’t entirely buy it that no one goes to these places to not get laid.  God has cursed us with hormones.  So when we see something we like, we usually go after it with all the gusto of a dog going after the leg of a newly-introduced house guest.  Do they even put warnings on these nudist institutions that warn people of the fact that bareness is a bare necessity?  Heck, even television shows these days warn you:  “The following is rated NR for Nude Titty.”

 

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