Drive…Don’t Be Driven!

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It is always important to have some sort of buffer between you and the windshields of your vehicle whenever you suffer a horrendous impact therein.  Sometimes, seat belts simply are not enough.  This is why auto manufacturers created air bags.  After all, it doesn’t do to be seen driving around with inflatable love partners between us and every wall of our vehicle.

Air bags, though very well-known for saving countless lives in automobile crashes, actually require us to change some of our old habits.  For example, if you ask 100 drivers at what position your hands should be on the steering wheel, half (give or take half) or so will most likely tell you the 10 o’clock and two o’clock positions.  This is simply because  before the invention of air bags many of us old-timers were taught that this was the correct position for total traffic safety and readiness.  But now, people who have had air bags deployed with their hands in this position have actually suffered broken bones in their hands and arms.  Now it is taught (or so I have heard) that the proper hand positions are nine o’clock and three o’clock.  .This will allow for the air bags to deploy without causing bodily injury.

Hell, I guess these days we should all be thankful of anyone who has even one hand on the wheel.  After all, you got people who text, put on make-up, eat food, drink beverages, mess with their phones,  engage in sexual activities, and all sorts of other craziness!

Back to seat belts!  Apparently statistics say that more lives are saved when people are wearing them than when not wearing them.  But how many of you have heard stories about people who were thrown clear when not wearing them, but would have surely died if they had been?  As a driver, it is important to know that you are responsible for making sure your passengers are using your seat belts.  If you get stopped, and one of them has failed to do so, you will get the ticket, not them.  (And the same thing goes for open booze containers in your car.)

Making sure you are securely anchored into your vehicle is only one aspect of safe driving.  Another point to consider is listening to music excessively loud.  Not only does it kill your hearing, but it also prevents you from hearing emergency and other type vehicles  who may be getting ready to collide into you and are blowing their horns in warning.

As far as other types of distractions while driving, oral sex in a moving vehicle should be at all times avoided.  After all, if a woman is servicing her husband or boyfriend, a collision could create quite an embarrassing situation, if not a deadly one!  The man could suffer excessive blood loss, while the woman could end up choking to death (unless the man happens to be built the same way Irish are rumored to be built).

In my latest novel, one of my female characters flashes her breast to one of my males.  Luckily, this guy kept control of his vehicle.  But please don’t be showing your pink parts to people while they are driving.  Otherwise, you will have to suffer mentally, knowing that yours was the last pair of something or another that they saw before dying in a fiery crash.  And this also goes for mooning.  If I were to do this, it would be equivalent to looking at the sun without UV protection covering your eyes!

Aside from distractions, we also need to be aware of road hazards.  Be mindful of vehicles on the side of the road.  You never know when a pulled-over driver might be oblivious enough to open their automobile door in a way that it falls in the path of your moving automobile.  And we need to be considerate of our state troopers and other law enforcement vehicles who have pulled over speeders.  After all, how would you feel if you ended up taking out half a dozen people just because you did not want to move over into the fast lane?

We mentioned open containers earlier.  Need I even mention drinking and driving?  The old cliche says “Don’t drink and drive; you might spill your drink.”  But I used to know someone who killed a person while he was driving drunk.  That death haunted him up until the day he died.  So it is a serious issue, and none to be joked about.  Also, it used to not be cool to be a designated driver for people going out enjoying a little nightlife.  This has apparently changed over the years!

Also watch your speed!  Some drivers are spiteful and may pull out right in front of you, intentionally trying to slow you down…not to mention that some speeders have paid fines that would sicken even Perez Hilton.  On the same note, don’t accept invitations from people who want to race you.  Because even the bad ass has to pay his fines in order to keep his license.

In summary, the best thing we can do as drivers is to drive, not be driven!

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