The Porn Ultimatum

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Whether or not we want to admit it, the porn industry has become woven into the fabric of our society, whether we like it or not.  Many people blame Hugh Hefner and Larry Flynt for this.  But the truth is clear.  Smut has been with us since the Greeks used to have their orgies and maybe even way before then too!

You have people who have made the porn industry not just famous but even impossibly enough have brought it to the main stream.  You have people like Ron Jeremy who became parodies of themselves in mainstream movies; then you have people who have had bad accidents in and out of the industry.  For example, John Holmes ended up getting AIDS and this made huge news, though the industry — strangely enough — never really skipped a beat in spite of it.  Then you have John Wayne Bobbit, whose wife decided to separate her husband’s tally from his whacker.  But this never stopped him from making a porn film and becoming famous with his ingeniously infallible inflatable.  

Then you have the porn films that were based on mainstream movies.  Movies like:

  • Shaving Ryan’s Privates
  • On Golden Blonde
  • Womb Raider
  • A Beautiful Behind
  • Schindler’s Fist
  • Glad He Ate Her
  • Driving Into Miss Daisy
  • Riding Miss Daisy
  • Batman in Robin
  • Blowjob Impossible
  • Dyke Hard
  • Star Whores
  • Sorest Rump
  • Edward Penishands
  • Gangbangs of New York
  • How Stella Got Her Tube Packed
  • In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon
  • Saturday Night Beaver
  • Legally Boned
  • When Harry Ate Sally
  • Romancing the Bone
  • Lord of the G-Strings
  • White Men Can’t Hump
  • Ocean’s 11 Inches
  • American Booty
  • Swallow Hal
  • Spankenstein
  • Blown in 60 Seconds
  • Buffy the Vampire Layer
  • Buttman and Throbbin
  • Rambone
  • Sperms of Endearment
  • School of Cock
  • Free My Willy
  • Sperminator

Then there are the movies and television shows out there that already sound like porn titles but aren’t!

  • The Big Bang Theory
  • Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang
  • Swingers
  • Deep Impact
  • Inside Man
  • Enter the Dragon
  • Snatch
  • The Firm
  • The Insider
  • Shaft
  • Igby Goes Down
  • Enter the Fist
  • The Banger Sisters
  • Octopussy
  • In & Out
  • The Black Hole
  • Earth Girls Are Easy
  • Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
  • Space Balls
  • Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
  • Fun With Dick and Jane
  • Black Snake Moan
  • Driving Miss Daisy
  • Run Silent, Run Deep
  • Dick
  • Grindhouse
  • Toy Story
  • Moby Dick
  • Goldfinger
  • Pecker
  • Holes
  • Cool Hand Luke
  • Die Hard
  • James and the Giant Peach
  • Pocahontas
  • Transylvania
  • Fists of Fury
  • A Fist Full of Dollars

So even though many of us may be too ashamed to admit to any of this influence, the truth is undeniable!

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