We’ve all heard stories about how God has gone all out of the way to talk to certain individuals in the Holy Bible. We have heard the story of how God spoke to Moses in the form of a burning bush. Many people may actually try to attribute it to the rare possibility that maybe Moses sampled some wild mushrooms growing by a nearby tree. But after what I experienced today, I don’t find it too hard — AT ALL — to believe Moses’ account, and the accounts of all others who have ever claimed that God spoke to them either directly or indirectly.
It all started this morning when my wife (from whom I’m currently separated at this time) told me how God spoke to her. She said a prayer to God asking for him to speak to her directly, and she randomly opened the Bible and read a passage directly next to where her thumb rested. And, low-and-behold!, the passage addressed something of vital importance in her life at this moment in time.
Not long after she told me of this, I started feeling really depressed today — in spite of it being my wedding anniversary. The truth is, and I do not normally publish this anywhere in the public eye, I am very concerned with all the walls I’ve found in my path of being a successful writer, and also just in trying to survive period, while apart from my wife and daughter. My local newspaper just told me that I do not rate any local news coverage due to the fact that I am “only a self-published writer”; and on top of all this, I’ve tried to find either full or part-time work, to no avail.
Very recently, I have accepted a sales job dealing with supplemental work insurance for organizations; but this pays only when I sell it; and not even very much at all in the very beginning. I’ve set several appointments, and every time I think I am getting closer to a “yes”, something happens to either delay it, if not cancel it altogether.
Right now, I’m about one month away from my car payment becoming due, with nary and idea as to how I am going to pay it. In summary and despite being a print-published author, I’ve been feeling like a total failure lately.
So I opened up to my wife about all of this. She just encouraged me to read the Bible for answers. And when I remembered hearing of her success this morning with her quick test-drive of the Bible, I figured I would do the same. So I picked up the very same Holy Bible she had used and prepared to give it a go with her right by my side.
As I held the Bible and prepared to open it, she reminded me: “You need to be very sincere in your prayer.”
So I prayed: “Dear Lord, I feel like a total failure lately. And I need your security this very moment. Please speak to me through your Holy Word with a message of hope.”
And when I opened the Bible and put my index finger down on one of the pages, I could not believe the message I went to! I was so shocked that I did not even look at the verse. But it basically said something to the effect that God will give me strength, and that even the strong who stand before me can become weak when God grants me His strength. This is really all I can remember of it; and it may not have been in those exact words. But upon reading them, I suddenly felt as though God had picked me up and embraced me, whispering in my ear that “all is going to be well.” And I began to cry unabashedly as I held my wife.
Part of me is embarrassed in posting this. After all, I’m a former Marine who is not supposed to appear weak at any given time. But the truth is that even the strongest lose strength at times. Satan works hard to make this happen in our lives.
But the truth is that I do not just see my blog as an opportunity to promote myself, my image, and my books, but also as a way to say thank you to each and every one of you for giving this new fiction writer a fair chance in life. And it is the least I can do to share my experience in this Biblical Test-Drive with you in hopes that maybe you will find similar comfort.
Do I believe I can do this every day with the same result? Most likely not. I firmly believe that God sees us when we are at our most vulnerable point in our lives. And I believe that if we approach him with the utmost sincerity and hunger for his spiritual healing, I believe that he will work strange miracles in our lives like the ones he just worked for me and my wife.
I pray that those of you out there who are just as thirsty for his Word and need his comfort will perhaps try a similar test-drive of your own Bibles. And if you do not believe, I pray that you will read this and be challenged to try the same thing just to see what happens. You never know! What’s the worst thing that could happen? You and God could possibly become best buddies?